MarvinS2025Marvin Schaller——Ranked first after drafting Drake Maye, Kyler Murray, James Cook, A.J. Brown, and DeVonta Smith—then collecting three Broncos just to make sure the stack had a soundtrack. The only thing keeping this perfect 100 from being perfect is Ka'imi Fairbairn going 31 picks before ADP.
Boro822Tyler Borowicz——Ranked second with Josh Allen, Derrick Henry, Justin Jefferson, Trey McBride, and a 99.6 projected Week 1 lineup—the roster is basically a cheat code with a pulse. Jacoby Brissett going 46 picks early was the one moment the cheat code asked for a password.
Scrub BucketsSebastian Adesoro——Ranked third, Scrub Buckets drafted at a 13-second pace and still came away with Gibbs, Caleb, Hampton, Nico, Zay, Jameson, Mike Evans, and Godwin. Tyler Loop 62 picks early suggests the draft clock was not the only thing this team was trying to beat.
JDP8Jake DiPasquale——Ranked fourth despite an eighth-place projected lineup, JDP8 built a Lamar, Herbert, and Cam Ward quarterback conference and then stole Travis Kelce 47 picks after ADP. Cam Little 25 picks early was a gentle reminder that even the smartest conference has a kicker.
PandaExpressAllen Chen——Ranked fifth while Sleeper gave them the best Week 1 projection at 101.7, PandaExpress drafted Joe Burrow, Jalen Hurts, Geno Smith, Max Brosmer, and Philip Rivers—five quarterbacks, zero chill. The oldest roster in the league is either veteran savvy or a very organized retirement home.
boyboyboyzNate Drews——Ranked sixth, boyboyboyz finished last in projected Week 1 points at 89.7 but drafted four quarterbacks and three rookies, apparently preparing for every possible timeline. Taking J.J. McCarthy 132 picks before ADP was less a reach than a rescue mission.
Tickle Me GoffTyler Douglas——Ranked seventh, Tickle Me Goff paired Jared Goff with Jaxson Dart and Malik Willis, then grabbed Packers D/ST 70 picks before ADP. The five-starter Week 11 bye stack says the team is either planning an early vacation or trying to win the bye-week championship.
Ja’Marrio KartMark Hollendyke——Ranked eighth, Ja’Marrio Kart loaded up on Ja’Marr Chase, De’Von Achane, Ashton Jeanty, Tetairoa McMillan, and Quinshon Judkins—basically turning the draft into a speedrun. Then Trey Smack went 103 picks early, proving the Kart has brakes only in theory.
You Aint First Youre LastRamsey Skjei——Ranked ninth, You Aint First Youre Last drafted Jayden Daniels, Patrick Mahomes, Saquon, Breece, Nabers, and LaPorta while staying an average of just 3.9 picks from ADP. Zero rookies and a Certified Coward badge is a bold way to say the draft board never got a chance to hurt you.
nnowakNate Nowak——Ranked tenth despite a 95.6 projected Week 1 lineup, nnowak drafted Bijan, Amon-Ra, Bowers, Josh Jacobs, and Baker before becoming the first manager to take a kicker. Brandon Aubrey at 105 was 56 picks early, but at least the rankings now know exactly who to blame when the scoring gets weird.
